Me

Sometimes I feel that if I stand still I will disappear. I know what it feels like to be invisible. There were times in my life that I wondered how someone of my stature could be invisible, could fade in to nothing like a breeze you barely register. Soon I learned it was easy to disappear. See people notice people that they feel can be a part of there life. If we noticed everyone we would be to preoccupied to live. So we filter out those who we don't feel will impact us, or really people who don't have an impact on us. I was invisible, I could have been the only person in the room and a passer by would have sworn the room was vacant. That was me, and I hated it.
So I became visible, not by becoming appealing but by becoming bigger then life. I started talking louder, wearing bigger jewelry, I started taking center stage. Being the person that is just always there. I kept it subtle (if one can even use that term in this context), I kept it polite, but I was not to be ignored. Forgotten, yes maybe, but not ignored.

Here all these years later (ok maybe five), where has it gotten me. Yes people know me, people feel comfortable in my presence. Yes, I can throw a great party and introduce you to interesting and pleasant people. People who are not invisible, people who you can see impacting your life.
So here I stand in the middle of it all, alone again. Not invisible, yet not seen completely. Kind of like a blur in your peripheral vision while you zone in on someone else.
Do I want to be invisible again?
No, I just want to be seen for once. For me.