Random but I think you can handle it
I did not write about the shabbaton because nothing exciting happened. It was nice, the people were nice and the beach was nice, but nothing really worth blogging about. But one thing did happen that got me mad and bear with me because I had it all typed up and lost it so this is take two. It was friday night and I was talking to a couple of Yachad advisors when a HASC guy came over to rub in the fact that I missed simchaton. I made my excuses and he moved on.
Then one of the Yachad advisors turned to me and started sharing his views on HASC. "They begged me to work there" he said "but I refused because such camps make me sick, they are just disgusting." Ok, stop right here, first of all dude (and no I did not say this) but they beg any guy to come because they don't have enough male counselors and second of all (this I did say) why are they disgusting? (by these types of camps he meant simcha, oh and you know camps like Aishel-but he wasn't going to even get in to that)
Well he said that people worked there to put it on their shidduch resume and to get the sweatshirts. Hang on again, aren't I a good example of how this whole shidduch theory doesn't hold water and I would go back in a second.
Well it was late at night and I was not in my best rhetorical form so I did not point out that he totally missed the point of such camps (you know to give these campers a great summer and to give the parents a break) or that there were people who actually worked at these camps for reasons other then those he stated. I also did not point out that whatever reason people go they come out with so much more then they imagined they could come out with. I did say that I was sorry he thought that but I worked in camp to be with my girls.
This is when he really blew up.
"See he said, this is what I am talking about, Your girls" He said, "They are not your girls, they have parents who love them, do you think they would want you to call them your girls?"
I explained that first of all I would never call them my girls to their face and number two, their parents know what I think about them and they don't mind, they actually like that I am so attached.
But then I was thinking, all caregivers, teachers and counselors at 'normal' camps (wonder if he thinks it is ok to work at sternberg), their children, girls or boys. This is not abnormal. I think I can call girls (yes my campers were girls between the age of 7-12) who I bathed, fed, clothed, diapered, ran around with, played with, soothed, sat up all night when one had pneumonia, cuddled, worried about, taught, sang to, cried with, did laundry for, took to the doctor and most of all loved for seven weeks (some for 3 or 4 summers in a row) MY GIRLS. And by that I do not mean that I love them more than their parents, or that I own them in anyway. Sheesh.
I know that HASC is not the perfect camp, I know that us counselors are far from perfect or wonderful but he is missing part of the puzzle. He doesn't know about bonds that form so quickly and deeply that they don't disappear in the months after camp (I know it sounds like a bad color war song). He doesn't know about the campers who talk about their counselor all year and for years to come. He hasn't seen the smiles my girls give me when I visit. Maybe he should read Aishel's blog entry from last week.
No, HASC is not with out its issues.
Yes, I know that some people work their for the reason's he named.
But he missed the point.
Then one of the Yachad advisors turned to me and started sharing his views on HASC. "They begged me to work there" he said "but I refused because such camps make me sick, they are just disgusting." Ok, stop right here, first of all dude (and no I did not say this) but they beg any guy to come because they don't have enough male counselors and second of all (this I did say) why are they disgusting? (by these types of camps he meant simcha, oh and you know camps like Aishel-but he wasn't going to even get in to that)
Well he said that people worked there to put it on their shidduch resume and to get the sweatshirts. Hang on again, aren't I a good example of how this whole shidduch theory doesn't hold water and I would go back in a second.
Well it was late at night and I was not in my best rhetorical form so I did not point out that he totally missed the point of such camps (you know to give these campers a great summer and to give the parents a break) or that there were people who actually worked at these camps for reasons other then those he stated. I also did not point out that whatever reason people go they come out with so much more then they imagined they could come out with. I did say that I was sorry he thought that but I worked in camp to be with my girls.
This is when he really blew up.
"See he said, this is what I am talking about, Your girls" He said, "They are not your girls, they have parents who love them, do you think they would want you to call them your girls?"
I explained that first of all I would never call them my girls to their face and number two, their parents know what I think about them and they don't mind, they actually like that I am so attached.
But then I was thinking, all caregivers, teachers and counselors at 'normal' camps (wonder if he thinks it is ok to work at sternberg), their children, girls or boys. This is not abnormal. I think I can call girls (yes my campers were girls between the age of 7-12) who I bathed, fed, clothed, diapered, ran around with, played with, soothed, sat up all night when one had pneumonia, cuddled, worried about, taught, sang to, cried with, did laundry for, took to the doctor and most of all loved for seven weeks (some for 3 or 4 summers in a row) MY GIRLS. And by that I do not mean that I love them more than their parents, or that I own them in anyway. Sheesh.
I know that HASC is not the perfect camp, I know that us counselors are far from perfect or wonderful but he is missing part of the puzzle. He doesn't know about bonds that form so quickly and deeply that they don't disappear in the months after camp (I know it sounds like a bad color war song). He doesn't know about the campers who talk about their counselor all year and for years to come. He hasn't seen the smiles my girls give me when I visit. Maybe he should read Aishel's blog entry from last week.
No, HASC is not with out its issues.
Yes, I know that some people work their for the reason's he named.
But he missed the point.
6 Comments:
At 10:54 PM,
Natan said…
First of all, I noticed that during this shabbaton, there wasn't as much interaction between the yachad girls and the yachad boys. Perhaps this is a good thing.
Second, I did hang out with the male yachad advisors. And I'd hate to say this to their face, but two of them were real jerks. I was talking to a different NCSY girl advisor who was doing door duty, and they were right there. In front of all the NCSYers, they were rating all the girls hot or not! This advisor was so grossed out by them. The entire time they were flirting with the girls (and not just the advisors, the NCSYers too). One of them even ended up going to Philly to some girls house after the shabbaton, instead of going back to NY (I don't want to know either).
My point is, they have no clue what they're talking about, they enjoy talking down to girls to make them better, and you shouldn't listen to anything they said.
At 11:13 PM,
flairrah said…
I did notice they were a bit sketchy, we have to tell y cause he is inviting them back. about the boys and girl advisors not hanging out, yeah well we were on seprate floors so you know, not as much fun, but with this crowd def. a good thing. I mean the other two seemed nice but those two, they freaked me out just a bit.
At 1:50 PM,
Keren Perles said…
As for your "girls" issue, you are completely right and that guy had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. Maybe he doesn't have enough compassion or selflessness to ever feel such emotional ties, and that's why he's trying to squelch yours. I was a JC and a counselor at Sternberg, and let me tell you, some of those girls were MY girls. I still keep in touch with some of them now; they had just finished seventh grade when I met them and now one is graduating and the rest are on their way. And still I hear how their lives are going, still I worry about them and cheer for them and send them birthday cards (the ones whose birthdays I know, which aren't many but still). And they know how my life is going and ask me for advice sometimes. No, I'm not their mother, but I was their surrogate mother for almost 6 weeks, and they're not going to forget that too quickly. Granted, you did a LOT more at your job than I did at mine, and mine seems like cheesecake compared to yours. But I still sat for over an hour with one girl who's baby sibling had died a few weeks before camp, even though I had no idea what was wrong, and held her as she shook and sobbed...I still dealt with kids that hadn't taken their depression meds, broke up an almost-fistfight, calmed down a bunch of honestly hysterical girls when all the lights went out on Friday night out in the woods all alone, pulled them up mountains and over rocks in streams, encouraged them every step of the way, let them douse me in water because they enjoyed it, had about four literally hanging on to me walking through campus "just cuz"...And I know quite a few mothers that would never dream of putting in as much effort as we did for those few weeks. In fact, that's why some of them were at Sternberg--because their parents couldn't bother to deal with them for more than a week at a time. I'm not saying that there weren't kids there with loving parents--there were--but those parents were ECSTATIC that their kids could have a fun summer away from the pressures of school, could make lasting friendships, and could be well taken care of by their counselors who loved them. This is all pretty much what you said, but I just had to get it out. That guy has absolutely NO idea what he's talking about.
Argh...I can't stand frustrating people...
At 11:43 PM,
Anonymous said…
I don't understand something. How can this guy on one hand be a yachad counselor and at the same time put down counselors in Hasc, simcha, or aishel? isn't he doing the samething over the weekend, or atleast supposed to be doing the same thing as a counselor?
A good topic for future discussion. What defines as chesed? and is one type of chesed better than others?
At 12:06 AM,
Natan said…
anonymous, one of the guys told me specifically that he came to meet a certain girl.
At 9:35 PM,
flairrah said…
oh that makes me so mad. how dare he come to see a girl and then tell me (or agree with his friend, since i don' t know which it is) about how people work at hasc to impress girls or boys.
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