Flairrah

Disclaimer: Don't believe everything you read here, for it is a woman's prerogative to change her mind.

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

I hate college

I haven't even started back and I am annoyed. I was so excited for this semester for two reasons. One, I was graduating and two, I was having my favorite teacher of all time (ok at least in college). Well tonight I went to check my schedule last minute and found that they had switched teachers. So now I don't get to take him again before I graduate. I am not happy, he was one of the few teachers that I really learned from, we talked a lot about communication ( a subject close to my heart) and I even wanted to work on research with him but then he took a semester off. When I found out he was coming back this semester I was so excited. I guess he no longer is (I hope he is ok). Well I guess we will find out what this new teacher is like tom.

Monday, August 30, 2004

Just a moment

I would just like to take a moment in ode to Diet Pepsi.

Ok moments over children, go back to whatever you were doing...

Sunday, August 29, 2004

The dawn of a new year

So I am hating the whole dating scene (or lack there of) but I am being positive. A new year is upon us and I am willing and ready to make the most of it. As my mother said to me when I complained of possiably being the latest to be wed (my older sister got engaged three months after her 23 birthday and my 23 birthday is creeping up) Flairrah, Daven!! (ok well she didn't say flairrah but you get the point). So that is what I am going to do. I am going to make this Elul and Tishri really count. I am going to pull myself together and really lay my soul on the line. yeah I know it may not come this year and I won't daven that it will cause I don't want what is not meant to be. But I will appeal my case before the Master of the Universe and hope that what I want is what He has planned. Oy, I sound looney.
Children, my 23 birthday is a little over two months away and I feel like I should be turning 13 instead of 23, I mean 23 is old and I am not old. I am young I tell you, no wrinkles here, no creaky bones or dampened spirits (well unless you got some godiva liquor now that is good stuff). I am young, vibrant, well preserved and in better shape then I have been in years (or at least I am getting there). So this year I celebrate who I have become instead of feeling for where I thought I would be (not that I usually celebrate my birthday, actually I hate my birthday but that is for another blog). This year is going to be wonderful, I can feel it, who knows what is in store.
P.S. glad to know I have more then two readers. Keep the comments coming, they brighten my day.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

You asked for it (ok so Pamello did anyway)

So by popular demand (from one of my two readers). I am going to tell y'all a little about my wonderful summer. Forgive me if I repeat since I have not read my old posts recently. So this summer I had the privilege of working with five amazing girls. It was a very hard summer, I think my hardest yet but in so many ways my best summer. My first girl Chani whom I think I have written about before was the only girl that I had had during previous summers. It is so funny cause I was looking at pictures the other day from my first summer (as a counselor) and though it was only four summers ago she has grown so much since then. This summer she was calmer and more mature. She actually focused for a few seconds before getting bored of something. Her giggle was the same though (I tickled her a few times to make sure) and her smile still melts my heart. Miri, my youngest new addition could have been Chani's little sister, therefore she was dubbed junior for a short time till we decided it wasn't right to compare her so back to Miri we went. She is the cutest little thing. All legs and freckles, with a "HI"that makes you smile and a smile that makes all the bad things in the world disappear.
Ok, by now you think I am crazy but you can't call me insane until you spend five minutes with my beautiful girls, you will fall in love with them also.
Next comes Balie, I think she was my most challenging but in so many ways she was my inspiration. It was not easy to fall in love with her even though she is as beautiful as the rest. She is autistic and this lends itself to difficulties from the start. For it is hard to fall in love with someone who doesn't want to have anything to do with you most of the time. But when she wants your love she will let you know by cuddling up on your lap or giving you kisses. She was a workout (and still I gained weight which I am currently losing B"H) and at many times a trying child but I learned so much from my darling Balie that I wouldn't take back a bruise.
Rivky, was my fourth girl, she slept in my cubicle but unfortunately I got little time with her. That is how camp is sometimes, you usually get to know some campers more then others, sad but true. Rivky, was I would say our easiest and as veteran that meant I got little time with her. Still I learned so much from her as I watched her journey her way through the summer as a girl in a wheelchair, blinded to the world around her and basically unable to communicate outside of her use of gestures and noises. How can you not learn from a remarkable girl like this.
Last but definitely not least was Gitty, the only girl I actually knew before the summer save Chani. Gitty is such a character I don't think even the rookies missed out on her happy/sad game or her chicken dance. I have been in Gitty's bunk house for about five summers (dating back to when I was not even a counselor) and I had no clue that she was so verbal (when promted). Gitty also loved to walk slowly which got me cheering (Here we go Gitty, Here we go) and learning to slow my own steps down every once and a while.
My co's were also amazing. They really got in there and gave work their all. They fell in love with the girls and really wanted to make the summer great for them which they did.
The rest is really indescribable. I mean how can I describe a smile that would take your breath away. Or a laugh that makes you all smiley. Or even a struggle that eats at your patience and your mind. How can I tell you about jumping up and down in front of the girls in the dining room knowing that is your cheer that is going to get the campers smiling. How can I describe to you the feeling of going to bed feeling like you wish you could break barriers that can't be broken in seven weeks. How can I explain to you how it feels when a girl with autism looks you in the eye for one second (even if it was just to get your attention). I can't explain it all which is why I go back for more every summer. Some things are only understood when they are experienced.

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Its over

Camp is over.
It was beyond wonderful.
To tired to expound on that.
TTYL.

Friday, August 13, 2004

Just one Shabbos left

Camp is over on Tuesday and three out of five of my girls are leaving on Monday. I think I am in denial though bec. the tears haven't begun to fall yet. I am not saying this is my last summer at camp bec. I really hope it isn't. I love it here and would love to come back as a teacher after graduate school, still the end of camp is always rough. I should be looking forward to my last semester and should start thinking about life after but at the moment all I want to do is pack my girls in a car and drive them to Baltimore so that they can come home with me. I actually told one mother on visiting day that her daughter was not going home. She claimed to miss her but I said it did not matter she was coming to Baltimore and that was that. I don't think she was too convinced.
I lost color war but all the kids had a great time (as did I) so it was so much fun. I even wore blue fish net socks which is just about as crazy as I get.
Hope everyone has a great Shabbos.
I will prob. be home next Thursday so I will have more time to write but prob. less to write about. Can't win.

Thursday, August 12, 2004

Color War

So I know I should be sleeping but I just finished prepping for color war (which is in a few hours) and now I am to awake (six diet pepsis later) to crawl in to bed. So I am blogging. It took me six summers and many bruises, scratches and bites (most recieved this summer) for them to give me color war captain. It is an honor and I am so excited not for the kavod but bec. what is better then staying up till crazy hours just to get up the next morning to jump around camp like a crazy person. I tell you it is so relaxing. Today was my last day off since camp is ending in less then a week (a fact I am not dealing well with) and I spent it watching a stupid movie and looking for blue stockings (can you guess what team I am on). I also got to eat some over priced sushi and run back to camp to break out color war. Fun I tell you. Next week camp ends on Tuesday (the tears are falling) and then I will be spending at least a day or two in NY before I return to life as we know it. I am not looking forward to school but I am looking forward to graduating. My mother is hoping I will get engaged soon and get married the week after graduate (Dec. 24- I think) so that people will stay in town for both. I said we should have xmas trees on the tables and ornaments with the pic of the two of us hanging from them. Who thinks this is a good idea? Just joking...I know life will happen when it happens but I love it when my mother starts dreaming up crazy plans for the future that are usually based on little but are quite amusing (sept when they aren't but at 4:30 in the morning everything is amusing). Oy, time for bed Children, hope your summer was and continues to be as amazing as mine. I think I am going to kiss my girls good night and climb in to bed for a few short hours of shluff time. Sweet dreams when ever you are reading this.

Sunday, August 01, 2004

Sometimes I scare myself

So last night (ok more like this morning) I posted and when I went to check it today I realized that I never really published it and now it is lost in cyberspace or it just plain disappeared. And since I remember none of what I wrote last night I guess I will start a new post. Here goes:
Camp is awesome as usual, my arms are actually decorated with beautiful and colorful bruises and scratches but it only adds to my style. My girls are resting now and I am doing one of my girls laundry (cause she can't have it sent out with the rest of camp) so I have a little free time. Actually one of my campers spent the whole morning on the computer so I have had almost as much computer time today then I would have on a normal day during the year, which I must say is very sad.
So what to write, hmmmm.... Camp is great the rest of my life is boring and I am too tired to be deep and introspective, sorry.
Hope y'all are having a great summer and doing all the things we plan on doing over vacation and never actually get around to doing. Like me planning the rest of my life or even my college schedule to things I have yet to do. Any ideas here are my choices for after I graduate.
To Live:
A. Washington Heights
B. Queens
C. Brooklyn
D. Baltimore

To Do:
A. Work
B. Graduate School
C. Work and School

Let me know what you think. Can't wait to hear from you.