They want to keep me in college forever.
I think they love me.
Or my money.
Just let me graduate all ready.
Please let me graduate.

Breathe in, Breathe out

Ok, so the stress is on. I just took two tests (ok a test and a quiz) and I bombed them both (I think). One because I was not prepared and the second (ok so it was the first but my mind does not work sequentially) because it was impossible. On top of that I have homework for tom. that does not look promising and a paper looming that I have no time to write. So why am I blogging? No good answer, sorry.
Yom Kippur B"H was better then usual and I really felt that I got a lot out of it. Only time will tell what Hashem thought of my pleas but hopefully His dreams and mine are similar.
This succos should prove to be interesting (at least not boring), my sister is coming in with her son (and husband) and go home with another child (wonder how that will play out) , Frych look out. My twin and her son (yes and her husband) are going to be coming for meals also and when my family gets together things get crazy. This is actually my first simchas torah at home for a bunch of years so I don't even know what to expect, usually I would be in Ny or at Simchaton but since I can't miss school (and am broke) I am stuck in Baltimore.
I have yet to make plans for January and I really need to get cracking on that. I think after Succos I am going to be compiling a list of organizations and schools who may be interested in receiving a resume from me (if anyone knows of any special ed. programs that are always looking for help let me know).
Hope everyone has a wonderful Succos.

Gmar Chasima Tova

I just want to wish everyone a Gmar Chasima Tova, may your Yom Kippur be meaningful and may your teffilos be answered l'tova. I hope we may share in many simchos this year and that it be a year of growth and change for the good.
I just returned from Rabbi Frand's annual tshuva drasha and I must say it was powerful. If my computer wasn't messed up and it wasn't ll at night I might have been able to post some of the highlights. But since it is really applicable all year maybe I will post after Yom Kippur.
For all of you out there who know me in real life or virtualy I hope you will grant me michila for any wrong I might have done you.

I hate first phone calls

I hate first phone calls.
But they are necessary in dating and therefore I put up with them.
I am not complaining bec. I would rather a first phone call to no phone calls ever but....
It is funny because first phone calls used to be 10 minutes and for some reason they have ballooned in to two hour affairs, when and why did this happen I will never know, maybe I talk to much....
Maybe they talk too much....
True story- one first phone call lasted two hours. During this time I did not pick up call waiting, my twin called three times decided something was wrong since no one picked up and drove over to my house to see if everything was ok.
You know what I hate more then first phone calls?
The time period between the first phone call and the date, especially if that time period is longer then a week.
You start analyzing, adding in your own interpretation, picturing the person and their personality.
Which of course is totally unfair and rarely relevant.
Gosh darn it there should be no first phone calls.

Life in General

Not much going on here. Basically getting ready for the holidays, putting off homework and reading h.com. This Yom Tov season should be interesting because not only do I have school (an am missing school) but I also have work right after each Chag, so if I might just fall asleep during one of students temper tantrums this coming sunday (well that would be an interesting story and I seem to be lacking with those recently). Actually this week was quite dramatic at work, for the first time in my life I was attacked by a person who was bigger then me and for the first time I was in charge of protecting others from attack. This is all very new because I am used to violence with little children involved (being that I generally work with young mentally handicapped girls). When I am attacked by a person smaller then I, it is easy (ok easier) to handle the situation. Although it is usually painful I can most of time manage to get the person under control or at least out of range. This sunday I realized that when a person larger then you attacks (even if it is less vicious), it is a lot scarier because you feel defenseless. Now add another factor, I found when you are responsible for another and they are in danger (especially when they do not know or understand they are in danger) the fear is indescribable. B"H nothing really happened in the end and I did walk away more shaken then anything else but boy was it an eye opening experience (one I hope never to have to repeat).
See life is never dull.

sorry y'all

Sorry I have not written recently my computer has been playing games and I have been mad busy. For the first time in my life I have more dates (or prospective dates) then I can handle. This I must say is a nice thing. Add that to the amount of work I have, the prep I have to do for Yom Tov and the stuff I am supposed to be doing towards finding a job and well life is busy. Yay, I love it when life is busy with happy things, this stress is good stress (even if it feel the same). Work starts tom (at Gesher) and while I am excited I am sad that I no longer have a day to sleep late (you can't have everything right). I have a smaller class this year but I think I will be still working one-on-one with a young girl who has autism, should be an adventure. I hope everyone has a wonderful and meaningful Rosh Hashana (if you think I am going to transliterate on this blog you are wrong), and I hope all your teffilos (that is the closed I get to hebrew in english) are answered for the good.
P.S. I am too tired to spell check this, sorry.

Procrastinating

I have homework due today that I really don't want to do, esspecially since I think I am dropping the class anyway. School is off to a good start and I am so excited about graduation (which is only a few monthes off). I am starting to get very excited about moving out on my own in January and am begining to really start researching my options and setting up to make the move.
Life in general has been very boring but I am enjoying the relative calm after a crazy summer. This new space gives me time to really reflect about all that I learned this summer and think how I can apply my new knowledge to the future. Now I have decided to look in to possiably getting a masters in Psyc instead of special ed. so that I approach the field from a different angle.
My blogger is not working so well, so I will hopefully have a better post up soon.

Back to School

Can't dare mix HASC and UMBC, so here is another blog.
Today was the first day of school and it was not as bad as I thought. My new teacher is actually pretty good (at least he seems to be after fifty minutes). We are studying language and society and since I love the study of communication it should be interesting. My other classes today were Biological Psyc which will be a pain cause I hate this stuff but it seems like it will be easy (all her notes are on line) and the Psyc of Aggression and Anti-Social Behavior which should be interesting cause I dealt with it a lot this summer (and in the past).
These three class (or at least the first and last mentioned) really got me thinking about how awesome it would be to research communication and language acquisition of children with developmental disabilities as well as the use of aggression as a form of communication in people with limited communication skills. Which leads me to rethink my choice of masters tracks. Maybe I should go in to Psyc and study this (at a Doctoral level) and then go in to the schools and train the teachers in seeing things as their students do. Training them to understand how these things all go hand in hand so that they can deal with the aggressive behavior better and stuff like that. I mean I know people do this already but it would be awesome to be one of them, I would still be working in the population I love but from a different perspective. Hmmm....something for me to think about.
Wonder what tom. will be like, check back and I will let you know.

The Light of the World is in Camp HASC

For color war two very talented people wrote a beautiful song for our team (Shalom) to the tune of Mama Rochel. After color war there was such a warm response to it that four boys got together, constructed a make shift recording studio in the gym and recorded it with only their voices and a guitar. They surprised everyone by playing it as the backdrop to the end of summer slide show. I think I cried, it was so beautiful. Well, being in camp forever gives me some benefits and I got a copy of the song. I wish I could share it is so stunning. Here is the corus:
As we say a pray now for peace
And turn our hearts up towards the east
We think of the peace that we found here
We found shalom
As we now reflect on times gone by
We feel our neshamos soaring high
The light of the world is in Camp HASC
Our summer home.

I think I have to go listen to it again.